A pox on the no-good blankety-blank-blank-blank(s) who wrote the malware that infected our PC.
The system performance is so bogged down, the virus scan I started nearly 12 hours ago is still running. (It would take under an hour on an uncompromised computer.)
The modem is unplugged, so at least the infected machine can't be hit with any additional problems. Or, more to the point, it can't invite more problems to come in, because that's the nature of this infection: once it gets on a machine, it goes out to other evil sites and brings in additional problems.
If I didn't have a web-enabled cell phone, I'd have hurt somebody by now. Poor Mark, though... he's managing a fantasy baseball team, and I don't know if he can update the lineup via cell phone.