Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Techie Na'vi

I listened to music at work today. I plugged earphones into the computer, rather than use my phone, just to see if it was logistically feasible. 

I alternately felt like a recharging device, or else like a Na'vi communing with the Tree of Souls. (See: http://james-camerons-avatar.wikia.com/wiki/Queue )

Monday, October 17, 2016

Still not feeling great

In early September, I received some outreach that effectively ended the rift I posted about earlier.

So why am I no less sad now? I think I'm still in the grieving process for my old worldview. Just like putting a cast on a broken limb doesn't magically, instantly knit the bone back together, the impact of showing me that I can be consigned to the garbage heap, for months on end and without explanation, isn't something that instantly dissipates. 

I don't trust much anymore. I had trust issues BEFORE this happened. To put it mildly, they're no better now. 

I do miss the old me, and I miss the way the world used to look.