Wednesday, February 28, 2007

This morning, I saw a commuter on the regional rail train who had his bicycle with him. There's nothing unusual about that; I see people with bicycles on the subway and on the regional rail line all the time.

But THIS bike was out-of-the-ordinary because of one particular accessory that it bore. Dangling from its rear reflector, which was just under the back of the bike seat, was a green pine-tree shaped car deodorizer.

Anyone who knows how punchy I am in the morning, before the caffeine really starts to kick in, will appreciate how quickly my mind started going off on various tangents. For example, "Why would someone need to install an air freshener right behind their bike seat? Does he eat beans prior to riding?"

Upon mulling this over, however, I realized that there could be some practical applications of this idea. "Boost your bike's speed: use compressed air!" Or "Jet propulsion: coming soon to a bicycle near you!"

Hey, what if THAT was Lance Armstrong's secret weapon all along? There's no need for doping or other illegal, dangerous methods of boosting performance; just consume broccoli, beans, and a glass of milk with every meal. Perfectly safe, legal, ethical, and healthy to boot.

Then again, it'd take an awful lot of those air fresheners to conceal that particular method of performance enhancement from the rest of the competition, particularly when they're all trailing the rider in question. So I presume that he made no attempt to skew the odds in his favor by harnessing the power of wind.

See what I mean about being punchy and going off on tangents first thing in the morning? This is all my fellow commuter's fault. Him and his air freshener! Blame all this rambling on him. ;o)

No comments: