In other news, here's the Stupid Criminal Tricks installment for the day:
Thief Demands $185K Ransom for Cell Phone, Goes to Jail InsteadOur thief didn't die, and therefore is not eligible for a Darwin award, but Randy-Jay Adolphos Jones is certainly someone who should be prevented from reproducing. The suspect indecently assaulted a Philadelphia woman as she exited her car in front of a friend's house in Lancaster County, PA around 1:00am. The woman squirmed free of her assailant's grasp but lost her purse -- with her cell phone in it -- to his grimy paws in the process.
Officer Jeff Gerhart arrived on the scene and got the woman to call her cell phone. Jones answered and demanded an absurd $185,000 ransom for the mobile phone. The woman quickly negotiated the ransom down to $200.
Jones agreed to meet the woman to collect his ransom and return the phone on a pedestrian walkway connected to Franklin and Marshall College. When Jones arrived on the scene, officers immediately surrounded him, guns drawn. The woman got her cell phone and her purse back and Jones is now in jail. During questioning Jones gave no explanation as to why he initially requested $185,000 for the return of the phone.
Bwahaha -- knucklehead! Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.