Monday, October 11, 2004

Today feels like a "shoulda stayed in bed" day. My spirits are flying
at half-mast even though I get to learn new job tasks for the Property
Department this afternoon, even though I'm less than 48 hours removed
from sitting in the THIRD ROW of a Barry Manilow concert (have I
mentioned that enough times yet? :o) ), even though I interpreted
yesterday which is often a mood booster for me, and even though I have
a hockey game to attend tonight.

Those things, combined with the fact that the weather's been BEAUTIFUL
for the past few days, ought to have me feeling great. Heck, I oughta
be dancing from room to room with a combination of things to
remember/look forward to like that. But instead I'm sincerely wishing I
could go home and pull the covers up over my head.

There's going to be a call to the doctor this week. Nobody should have
to live feeling like this. Either the prescription amount needs to
change, the actual med needs to be changed. or it has to be
supplemented with face-to-face treatment. My opinion is, "possibly the
first or second option, probably the third one, maybe all of the
above". We'll see. All I know is that there is going to HAVE to be an
appointment to discuss treatment options here. I'm sick of fighting
this day in and day out. The med helps, because without it I'd actually
BE at home right now with the covers over my head, instead of just
wishing I were. But nobody deserves to have to feel like this 24/7, and
even MY threshhold of pain has its limits. To paraphrase that movie,
"I'm blue as h*ll and I'm not gonna take it anymore", so it's time to
have a word with the primary care doctor and see what kind of a plan we
can come up with.

I guess I can look at the bright side -- if this is how I feel WITH all
those great things I mentioned a few paragraphs ago, then this is
better than how I'd feel right now if I DIDN'T have all those things in
my recent past/immediate future. So there's that point to ponder.

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