Tuesday, May 06, 2014

Sometimes, it hits out of nowhere

During that gap in posting, there was one particularly bad five-week period when I heard from no one. And as Forrest Gump would say, "That's all I have to say about that."

Except to say that the time period did some internal damage that is still not entirely... repaired? Healed? What word would work here? I don't know.

To the point where I can spend a good day with everybody who I didn't hear from in all that time, like today, and still feel blue, left out, and disconnected within hours of the get-together ending. Like tonight.

I lost a lot more faith in people than I'd realized. I guess that, given that it took five weeks for the internal damage to develop, it's not going to just go away like flipping a switch. When a forest has been clearcut, it's not going to sprout back up into a big forest again overnight. I am going to have to let my ability to have faith in people start growing from the ground up.

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