A sign from above

Yesterday, Baxter passed away.

This morning, I had a Facebook memory of his picture, showing him smiling in his sleep.

I do not think it's a coincidence.,

Sad PUPdate

Things started out good this morning. The vet sent me some pics of Baxter looking alert last night, and I was happy to see them when I woke up this morning and checked my email.

His numbers had improved a little, too, and the vet was all set to update me this morning with good things.

But then his blood pressure crashed. They had to move him to the intensive care unit to get him stable. It took a lot of effort to get him stable, but he was no longer alert.

At this point, I knew there was really only one option. The treatments all week barely budged his liver and kidney numbers and they were still pretty bad. He was diagnosed with severe cardiac issues from having leaky heart valves in all four chambers. And the little momentary "zone out" moments that I had noticed a while ago, but thought nothing of because they were so brief, were diagnosed as seizures, to my great surprise. Unfortunately, in a dog his age, the most likely cause would be a mass in the brain.

Even with all this, if there was any chance of achieving quality of life, I would have been interested in hearing about it. But now we are talking about his blood pressure being ready to bottom out without warning. No. I can't subject him to that, too. It took a team of ICU vets in the best animal hospital in the region to straighten his BP out this morning. Suppose by some huge miracle he had come home, and it happened here? I don't have the equipment or the training to bring him back from an episode like that. He'd be gone on the spot.

I had to recognize that all these thing point to just one answer. It was not the answer I wanted, but I have to be honest with myself.
We were at the point where prolonging his life would have meant suffering, not recovery, and under no circumstances would I let him suffer. Mark and I drove up to the animal hospital to be with Baxter while he had the Final Act of Mercy.

We are grieving, but we know that it was the only real option.

Blast all these ailments that impact our innocent little furbabies. All they ever do is love us unconditionally.

Baxter was brought in to a local rescue as a stray in 2013, and the vet there estimated him to be six years old. We never knew his birthdate, so we marked his Gotcha Day as his birthday. We treated him like he was 12 and would be 13 in the Fall on the anniversary of when we got him.
They let both Mark and me in the room with him, and he sat getting cuddles on my lap the whole time. My lap was his favorite place, and cuddles were his favorite thing. I told him over and over how I will love him forever and ever.

Morning PUPdate

I am glad to report that Baxter is more alert and aware today than yesterday (and he had improved yesterday, as well, being better in the evening than in the morning). We need his bloodworks back to see if his numbers are also improving.

I asked the vet about traveling to the shore with him, as we do every year, or if I would have to find a medical boarding solution. She said that if he improves enough to go home, she can't see why we couldn't have him at the shore with us. So that's a good thing. I mean, it's only a drive to the NJ shore; it's not like we have to take a plane there or drive for days to reach the place.

So now, we wait for the numbers to tell the tale of what is going on. Keep praying.

Evening PUPdate

I just heard from the vet for the evening update.

Definitely, he has heart disease and leaky valves. And she asked about Baxter's tendency to sometimes seem like he's not attentive to his surroundings. That's not a new thing. Sometimes, he seems like his attention is turned inward, not outward. That, to my surprise, could be seizures. They'll give him some meds for the heart and anti-seizures, and recheck blood tomorrow in the hopes that the kidney/liver numbers are improving with treatment.

He is more alert tonight than he was this morning. I’m hoping that their treatments have him feeling better, and that whatever they’re doing is something a person can duplicate at home.

PUPdate

Here is the latest on Baxter, as of this morning.

To recap, Baxter is 12 years old, with known kidney issues, for which he has been doing well on a special kidney-diet dog food.

On Saturday, he started losing his appetite and showing signs of nausea and soft bowel movements. This continued through Sunday. His appetite stayed down, to the point where we were handfeeding him on Sunday and Monday. I have some over-the-counter meds for upset tummy and gave it to Baxter, but the symptoms didn't abate.

We brought him to University of Penn's emergency vet yesterday, because I know they can do labs and get answers back right away. When you go to a regular vet, it can take a couple days for the bloodwork numbers to return, and I didn't think that was a good idea with his history of funky kidney numbers. The hospital admitted him for testing and supportive care.

I just got a Baxter update:

Kidney and liver numbers are off. He also has a heart murmur (which we knew), but he will have an echocardiogram to see just how much treatment he can tolerate for the kidneys without causing heart failure.

The liver numbers were unexpected. They are also giving antibiotics just in case there is an infection hitting both kidneys and liver, even though there is not anything pointing strongly toward infection.

The trouble with the heart/kidney issue combo is that the treatment for one is bad for the other. So it's a waiting game until we establish just what is the cause of the symptoms, and just how to handle both situations without causing a crisis.

And if all the worst answers come back and palliation is not an option, they will allow me to be there with him. I made sure of that.

But right now, we are just looking at finding a source of the symptoms, so we can figure out if there are any treatment options and what they are, and getting him feeling better in the meantime.

Everybody at the hospital loves him. They're all making a point of telling him how sweet and handsome he is. So I know they are taking care of that aspect of his needs, as well.

The cats are walking around calling for him. They were too busy playing last night, but now they are certain that their brother isn't here. They love their doggie brother.

I am worried about my little munchkin. I know when our furbabies age, we have to face the fact that they aren't going to be with us forever, but I am hoping we will be able to have him with us a while longer. I love that little bitty guy.

The vet will call later with another update.

Baxter and the vet, Part 2

Baxter's appetite waned away to nothing during the weekend. By yesterday, he barely ate anything, but was queasy anyway. I spent the night sitting with him on the sofa. Neither of us got a restful night's sleep, and he had a couple moments of puking a little liquid.

Obviously, this is neither normal nor normal-adjacent. I will be calling the emergency vet about bringing him in today. Right now, he is resting comfortably in a normal-looking nap. If you didn't know he's been unwell, you wouldn't guess from looking at him. He has been walking around like it's no big deal, but the only food he's had today was some yogurt I hand-fed him under protest (which he did keep down).

I want bloodwork numbers and I want them NOW. He has been on kidney food for a year, and his kidney numbers last year were deemed "watch them, but not a crisis" because they were a bit off. (Hence, the k/d food.) I have some concerns that the symptoms are related to his kidneys taking a turn.

Say some prayers that whatever the vet has to say will involve a viable treatment or reasonable palliation of symptoms. I love my little pup and I want as much quality time as we can achieve. 💓🙏

From Yellow to Green

I am seeing headlines about some counties in PA turning from yellow to green on June 12, but I am not seeing any indication that Philly is on that list.

I wanted to get back to being an aide for my friend Joe J, which I was doing on Fridays after work when we were pre-COVID-closures, and I was all set to do it when Philly and Delco both went to condition yellow. Trouble is, now he has freaking SHINGLES and his mom got attenuated chicken pox from his case of shingles.

So now, we are waiting for both counties to be yellow AND for them to be free of shingles and chicken pox. Grrrrr.

I am just crossing my fingers that the reopening of PA and NJ doesn't precipitate a big spike in COVID cases. I need my dose of Vitamin SEA, dang it! I will be really irked if things start closing back down right now. 😉 If that happens, I will comply, because preserving lives outranks even doses of Vitamin SEA, but I will also reserve the right to grumble about the timing.

Holy Moley

This arrived in my email at work today:

As [employer] pivots to resume normal operations across the system, we know many members of our team who have been working remotely during the pandemic are awaiting details about plans for when they may return to the workplace. Employees who quickly pivoted to working from home at the start of the pandemic, and those who are flexing or rotating their schedules to reduce density, have made it possible for our clinical teams to remain safe on site.  At this time, those who can work from home–for some or all of their hours–should continue to do so until after Labor Day.

 My employer, not I, added the bold print for emphasis.

This tells me that my employer does not expect COVID to just disappear magically any time soon. They are taking precautions at least throughout the summer. Moreover, there is not any indication that after Labor Day, they will reduce their precautions appreciably. Rather, it appears to me to be a case of "We will revisit the policies and see whether to extend them or not".

It looks like I get to keep my ten-second commute for a while longer.

Baxter at the vet

We had an appointment at the vet yesterday. Baxter needed a little once-over by some trained eyes.

The verdict: his luxating patellas (wonky kneecaps) are a little worse now than last year. This is not uncommon in older dogs. We were getting concerned because at times, his gait is affected such that his front half walks fine, and his rear half looks drunk. No evidence of pain and no incontinence; just intermittent issues with rear leg weakness and some challenges navigating on stairs.

Solution: glucosamine-chondroitin supplements.

There is also a skin tag that we are keeping en eye on, a little thinning of fur on top of his tail (he sits on his tail), and some eye irritation.

Solution: the first two are no biggie, and he appears to have "allergy eyes", so I have to give him some ointment twice daily for the next few days.

I am relieved that all these minor things are, in fact, minor things. But when your pup is 12, going on 13, you want to keep an eye on all these little things lest they turn into a big thing.

He was a Very Good Boy for his exam. And he was so keyed up from the experience (not)  that as he sat in my lap in the car (with Mark driving), he fell asleep with his head on my purse and was snoring before we had exited the parking lot, lol. My mellow munchkin pup.

This morning, I put the ointment in his allergy-eyes for the first time, NO reaction whatsoever. Thank God I can do pretty much anything and he tolerates it. A lot of dogs would go through the ceiling if you were doing things anywhere near their eyes. 

I ordered him a ramp for the sofa last week, but between the Rona and the demonstrations, it hasn't arrived yet. My tiny little old man. ❤️ 🐶

Ben Franklin was right

“Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are” -Ben Franklin

From Red to Yellow

My county, and the surrounding suburbs, are planning to go from Red (full COVID lockdown) to Yellow (partial lifting of restrictions) on Friday, June 5. Churches will begin reopening on Saturday. My first interpreting since March 8 will happen on the second Sunday in June.

We had a Zoom chat with the local Catholic Deaf community to discuss what will be happening. Here is how that is going to play out. As an interpreter, I need to walk into the church with the mask on, but once I am in the sanctuary, I will take the mask off. Communion lines will ensure that people are standing 6 feet from one another. Everyone will have to take Communion in their hands, and I think carry it back to their seat before consuming the Eucharist.

I don't even know how many Deaf will be at the Mass two Sundays from now. There is one person who is both a regular attender and sits up front; however, there are some others who come sporadically and sit elsewhere in the congregation, so I can't reliably predict whether they will be present on any given Sunday. But hey, no matter what, the interpreter will be there if they decide to brave the crowd and attend Mass.

Then there's my deaf-blind friend who I normally help on Fridays. I miss going there and they miss having their signing aides coming in. I told his mom that I was willing to start coming back again as soon as their county and mine both went to Yellow. She called me yesterday and said we might have to hold off on that for a little while longer, because he has freaking SHINGLES and gave her chicken pox. Un-freaking-real! They can't catch a freaking break. 😡 So when both our counties are in Yellow *and* the freaking shingles/chicken pox are gone, THEN I can resume going there on Fridays.

In happier news, my parents celebrated their 59th wedding anniversary yesterday. It also was the 100th anniversary of the birth of my maternal grandmom. So that was nice. I really hope that we are able to go out and celebrate like normal humans NEXT year, which will be my parents' 60th anniversary.

Oh, and last night, the city did not send out the very jarring cell phone alert to signify the beginning of the curfew. I thought we would have a break from being deafened by that shocking noise, after getting the alert every day since Saturday when curfew began. But no such luck. We got the deafening cell phone alert because of a TORNADO WARNING instead. At least I knew it was coming. When we were on the Zoom chat, someone's phone sounded the alert, and just then, our weather radio started talking about tornadoes. So I figured my phone was about to go off at any moment with the same alert, and a couple minutes later, the alert came in. Fortunately, we only got heavy rain and high winds, but as far as I know, no tornadoes. The storms we did get yesterday, one around lunchtime and the other around 7:30 PM, were pretty severe, with a ton of trees and branches down and power outages, but tornadoes would just have made an already-serious situation even worse.

We are supposed to have feisty weather today, too. I hope it's not as insane as yesterday's storms. The news called it a derecho, which I had to look up, and this is what it means: a line of intense, widespread, and fast-moving windstorms and sometimes thunderstorms that moves across a great distance and is characterized by damaging winds. Yikes! That's a big NO THANK YOU to any more of those!

With Liberty and Justice for All

You know what I want?

I want the country that I THOUGHT we had when I was a little girl. I took the "Liberty and Justice for All" part of the Pledge of Allegiance seriously. I was too young to understand that we weren't at that point yet.

I was born in the early 60s, so I am old enough to remember things like the "Peace and Love" slogans, Flower Power, and all that. I saw all the talk about everyone of all races being equal and deserving equal treatment, and I internalized it. I was innocent enough that I thought everyone else did, too. It meshed so well with the "Love one another" teaching we were getting at that level in Catholic school, that wasn't it just OBVIOUS that this is what we should all be doing? I was too young to realize that we weren't there yet, either.

Now, I'm an adult, and I realize that we didn't then, and don't now, have a full implementation of justice for all, equal treatment for everyone, and love for one another. And you know what? I DON'T LIKE that, not one bit.

So I will be finding ways to volunteer, and I will definitely find ways in the voting booth, to get behind anyone who will be willing and able to create that equal justice and fair treatment for all in this society. Because sitting and grousing about what we ought to be doing is not going to get us any closer to making things better.

/rant

Woot, woot!

I am officially a paid author! 😀 I'll try not to spend it all in one place, lol.

Next up: curation on Medium. That's when Medium sends your article's link out to others, vastly increasing the number of visitors to the article. That's when an author will REALLY say, "Woot, woot!"

Rumor-mongering Idiots

There is no problem on this earth that can't be exacerbated by RUMOR-MONGERING IDIOTS.

In the 90s, when the terrible Rodney King riots were devastating Los Angeles, I worked in Center City, Philadelphia. I went out to lunch, as was my wont, and when I got back to the office, I heard people talking excitedly that a riot was breaking out at Broad and Walnut. I joined the conversation to say that I had just eaten lunch at 13th and Walnut (which, for non-locals, is a block away from Broad), and had to cross that intersection on my way there and back. There was nothing out of the ordinary going on at Broad and Walnut.

At the end of the day, I took the Broad Street Subway home, getting off at Snyder, and walked home.  When I got to my street, neighbors were excitedly talking about how a riot was breaking out at Broad and Snyder. I told them, "I just got off the subway there, and nothing was going on. So unless the problems broke out within the last five minutes, I am going to say that's not correct information."

It was a Friday, and my parents and I were going to a benefit dinner in NE Philly that night. While we were there, the chatter started. "Someone said there is a riot at Cottman Avenue." I responded, "I already heard two false rumors about Broad and Walnut, and Broad and Snyder. People said riots were going on over there, but it wasn't true. I will bet anything that this report about Cottman Avenue is baloney." Which it was.

OK, so fast-forward nearly 30 years to just now. I had an eye appointment this afternoon. Had, being the operative word. They called me to reschedule and said they are closing early, because of looting on Oregon Avenue. Well, the stores they mentioned are mere blocks from here. Mark got in the car to go look, and of course, nothing is out of the ordinary there. I called the eye doctor back and told them everything I just wrote.

But clearly, some smacked arse(s) decided to create fear and loathing by spreading outright lies. Poxes on these lying imbeciles who do this stuff.

If you hear any of these "OMG WOE HORROR DISASTER IN OUR BACKYARD" rumors, take it with a massive grain of salt unless you can verify it. Because there are some sick wretches out there who get their jollies by upsetting people needlessly.