Sunday, January 22, 2012


I just heard that, at the moment the Italian cruise liner hit the rocks, Celine Dion's hit song from the movie Titanic was playing in the ship's dining room.

Seriously? They freaking played a song from Titanic on a cruise ship? What nitwit thought THAT was a good idea? Isn't that kind of like playing a plane-crash movie as an in-flight film?

The captain's excuse for why he abandoned the ship long before the evacuation was complete was that the ship tilted, causing him to fall overboard and land in a lifeboat. Yeah, right. Maybe he can fall into a prison cell next, along with any other officers who helped themselves into a lifeboat and left the passengers and crew to their fate.

I admire the Coast Guard chief, who managed to limit himself to only two expletives while in the process of tearing the captain a few new orifices and order him to get back on board the ship. I assure you, I was thinking way more than two unprintable words when I read the transcript of that conversation. The order he gave the captain, which translates as, "Go back on board, you [bleep]!" or "Get the [bleep] back on board!", was the top trending topic on Twitter in Italy. I suspect that we won't have to worry about that cruise line inflicting any more unfit-for-duty officers on an unsuspecting public, because they're likely to be sued off the face of the earth by the thousands of survivors. Which, if you ask me, is a fate they richly deserve.

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