Thursday, September 22, 2011

'Splain This To Me

I just got home from spending the day at the Art Museum with JFM, JR, and Betty (hereafter "Mrs. B."); we went to see the exhibit about Rembrandt and the Faces of Jesus.

The exhibit extends through several rooms in the museum. There are guards in the doorways between one room and the next. Most of the rooms had doorways at "12"00" and "6:00", allowing a person to go in and then view the images by either walking clockwise or counterclockwise around the room. In most cases, I was able to tell which was the logical "first" image to view in the room, because of numbers posted under the image that corresponded to the audio tour.

Then I got to the last room of the exhibit. My three friends had completed viewing everything, but I take my time absorbing detail so I was trailing well behind the rest of our group. I walked through the doorway into the last room, and found myself in a dilemma, as I wasn't actually sure which image to visit next -- the one on my left or the one on my right. So I turned and asked the guard which which picture I should walk to upon entering the room.

"Did you come in here from the Gift Shop?" (Which was located after the exhibit's exit.) "You know there's no re-entry into the exhibit once you leave..."

"No. I came in from that room." (Pointing at the room.) I wanted to know which was the first image to visit in this room."

"You know you're not allowed to re-enter the exhibit once you leave..."

"I *didn't* leave. I just got to this room. I wanted to know what order I should view the images in."

"Where did you come in from? The Gift Shop?"

"NO. I came in from THAT room," (pointing), "through THIS doorway," (pointing), "and now I'm in THIS room." (pointing). "I want to know if I should start viewing the pictures by going to THAT picture first" (pointing) "or THAT picture" (pointing).

"You can't come back in here after you exit."

"I DIDN'T exit. I came from THAT room."

By this time, JFM had come back to see where in tarnation I was, overheard the conversation, and said, "Start with that one over there."

Now why couldn't the guard do that? As far as I could tell, he was a native speaker of English. (Unless he has zero native languages to boast of, and after that conversation, I could very well believe it.)

And this guy has a full time job, but I have to work three different part-time jobs because I haven't been able to find full-time work. What's wrong with THIS picture?

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