[Two black kittens step up to the microphone]
Merlin: A-*hem*. Is dis fing on? It is? Oh, good.
Ohai, I'm Merlin, and dis my brofur Pyewacket. We's THREE WHOLE MONTHS old, and dat's a longlong time!
Our three sisfurs dat we was borned wif are already out ruling houses. Now it's our turn to take ofur ruling DIS house.
I is da great magician kitty, and Pye here is my second-in-command.
Pyewacket: EXCUSE YOU, I don't fink so! We are equals and we rule togefur!
Merlin: You can be my familiar.
Pye: Yes, I am familiar wif you. You're my brofur.
Merlin: Dat's not what "familiar" means! It's... oh, nefur mind.
Oh, look, bowls of fud! [Kittens run to see and crash into each other]
Pye: Excuse you, I was here first!
Merlin: Were not!
Pye: Was too!
Merlin: I'll turn you into a toad! Hocus Cadabra!
[A pawful of glitter materializes from thin air and drifts to the floor.]
Pye: Cool trick, bro.
Merlin: I MEANT to do that. [washes paw]
Pye: Anyway, your technique's all wrong. Rememfur how they teach it at Hogwart's? Swish and flick, swish and flick. Watch my tail, I'll show you. [swish] [flick] [swish] [flick]
[Merlin watches swishing, flicking tail. His eyes get ever larger until...]
Merlin: AAAAHHHH! GET DA TAIL! [pounces]
Pye: Ow! Hey! OK, if you wanna be DAT way about it, then... [wrestling match ensues]
[Wrestling ball of kittens rolls off and exits, stage left]
The new Royal Felines are currently exploring the basement. They'll stay down here for a few days until they get acclimated; then they can explore the house.