Thursday, July 26, 2018

Kittenfest!

[Two black kittens step up to the microphone]


Merlin: A-*hem*. Is dis fing on? It is? Oh, good.


Ohai, I'm Merlin, and dis my brofur Pyewacket. We's THREE WHOLE MONTHS old, and dat's a longlong time! 


Our three sisfurs dat we was borned wif are already out ruling houses. Now it's our turn to take ofur ruling DIS house.


I is da great magician kitty, and Pye here is my second-in-command.


Pyewacket: EXCUSE YOU, I don't fink so! We are equals and we rule togefur!


Merlin: You can be my familiar.


Pye: Yes, I am familiar wif you. You're my brofur.


Merlin: Dat's not what "familiar" means! It's... oh, nefur mind.


Oh, look, bowls of fud! [Kittens run to see and crash into each other]


Pye: Excuse you, I was here first!


Merlin: Were not!


Pye: Was too!


Merlin: I'll turn you into a toad! Hocus Cadabra!


[A pawful of glitter materializes from thin air and drifts to the floor.]


Pye: Cool trick, bro.


Merlin: I MEANT to do that. [washes paw]


Pye: Anyway, your technique's all wrong. Rememfur how they teach it at Hogwart's? Swish and flick, swish and flick. Watch my tail, I'll show you. [swish] [flick] [swish] [flick]


[Merlin watches swishing, flicking tail. His eyes get ever larger until...]


Merlin: AAAAHHHH! GET DA TAIL! [pounces]


Pye: Ow! Hey! OK, if you wanna be DAT way about it, then... [wrestling match ensues]


[Wrestling ball of kittens rolls off and exits, stage left]


---

The new Royal Felines are currently exploring the basement. They'll stay down here for a few days until they get acclimated; then they can explore the house.



No comments: