Thursday, July 26, 2018


[Two black kittens step up to the microphone]

Merlin: A-*hem*. Is dis fing on? It is? Oh, good.

Ohai, I'm Merlin, and dis my brofur Pyewacket. We's THREE WHOLE MONTHS old, and dat's a longlong time! 

Our three sisfurs dat we was borned wif are already out ruling houses. Now it's our turn to take ofur ruling DIS house.

I is da great magician kitty, and Pye here is my second-in-command.

Pyewacket: EXCUSE YOU, I don't fink so! We are equals and we rule togefur!

Merlin: You can be my familiar.

Pye: Yes, I am familiar wif you. You're my brofur.

Merlin: Dat's not what "familiar" means! It's... oh, nefur mind.

Oh, look, bowls of fud! [Kittens run to see and crash into each other]

Pye: Excuse you, I was here first!

Merlin: Were not!

Pye: Was too!

Merlin: I'll turn you into a toad! Hocus Cadabra!

[A pawful of glitter materializes from thin air and drifts to the floor.]

Pye: Cool trick, bro.

Merlin: I MEANT to do that. [washes paw]

Pye: Anyway, your technique's all wrong. Rememfur how they teach it at Hogwart's? Swish and flick, swish and flick. Watch my tail, I'll show you. [swish] [flick] [swish] [flick]

[Merlin watches swishing, flicking tail. His eyes get ever larger until...]

Merlin: AAAAHHHH! GET DA TAIL! [pounces]

Pye: Ow! Hey! OK, if you wanna be DAT way about it, then... [wrestling match ensues]

[Wrestling ball of kittens rolls off and exits, stage left]


The new Royal Felines are currently exploring the basement. They'll stay down here for a few days until they get acclimated; then they can explore the house.

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