I'm still home, still recuperating from surgery, and was getting ready to reach out to my surgeon and my boss about resuming working from home.
And then the computer in my studio, the one from which I'd have been working, up and died. It wouldn't even turn on, as I discovered on Sunday morning when I came in here.
So we got yet another surprise expense: I am grateful that we were able to quickly order another machine. It arrived yesterday, and I have been setting it up ever since.
My previous one was about 8 years old. I'd gotten it new in 2020, but the model itself was from about 2017 (as I discovered when I had to have its fan repaired a couple of summers ago). This one's model year is 2025, so I am hoping for some good longevity with this machine. \
In other news, I have seen a few surprise phoenixes come up while I'm online doing Other Things. I will take those as a sign that JFM has safely arrived on the other side. He didn't announce that he'd send a sign that way, unlike his cousin Linda who'd promised (prior to her own passing in 2020) to reach out to folks by sending butterflies. However, phoenixes aren't exactly a common sight in our culture, so you have to really go on a treasure hunt to find one. Otherwise, they're not going to be something you randomly encounter with any frequency in the wild or online.
In the meantime, it's a bit of a battle to push through emotional fog to get things done. I wouldn't quite label this as depression, but everything just seems to take a toll emotionally, mentally, and physically. It's not my pain control, because I've long since finished the post-op meds and am back on my normal pain regimen (the one I've used for years for the osteoarthritis). It's got to be the impact of injuiry, cabin fever (not a minor thing, after a month of dealing with this), and bereavement.
I'm doing what I do best: pushing through it as much as possible. I have spent no small percentage of my life doing just that. I certainly did it before I reached a point where meds became a necessity, and even afterward, frankly, meds can't keep ALL the pain at bay (be it of the emotional or physical variety). Sometimes, the best result you're going to get is "the pain is now at a level where I can push through it and get things done". That's me, right now.
Life's like that.
Oh, and as of noon today, we reached the exact midpoint of 2025. Well, I have a lot of opinions of how the first half of this year has gone, and let's just say I'd be giving heavy-duty "needs improvement" feedback if there was a place to submit it.
Let me put it this way: the second half of the year has a lot of reparation to make. A whole freaking LOT of reparation. The amount of mental, emotional, and physical injury that this year has managed to dole out in its first half is immeasurable. Even if the second half was the next best thing to paradise, this would still go down as one of the most challenging years I've ever experienced. And I don't think "next best thing to paradise" is an option on the 2025 menu.
Brace yourselves. We're all gonna have to keep pushing through.
