To make a very long story short, I wound up subscribing to a background check site for 3 days of unlimited usage. I had to find a person whose name was on a piece of mail that my mom got at her address, and I thought this was the most expedient way to figure out where the mail should go. The person actually lives across the street from my mom, as the person addressing the envelope messed up while writing the house number. So that mystery was solved quickly.
However, here I am with three days of a subscription to this search site.
And I thought about what might have happened to the person who I broke up with in college, whose behavior in the aftermath would qualify as stalking if someone did those things today. Sadly, anti-stalking laws didn't get passed until 3 or 4 years after my graduation, so he wasn't doing anything illegal at the time.
For obvious reasons, I have made a point of NOT having contact with this guy in the decades since graduation. I have also made a point of trying to minimize identifying info that might crop up in search engines, specifically so it would be less easy for this specific person to drop my name in a search and decide to start his antics again. I was hoping that he was happily married and moved far, far away, where he would not have an reason to start any further trouble here.
But what I found is that he died last year. THAT wasn't what I expected to see. I found the obituary, which contained the memories that his sister wrote, and I saw his birthdate. I am 100% positive that this is the person I knew back then.
I am a bit shocked, as he was only a few years older than I am. I don't know what info I expected to find, but this wasn't it.
At least I never again have to be concerned about whether something will trigger him to start making trouble again. That has always been in the back of my mind for the past 38 years, more than half my life. When the shock wears off, I suppose I will feel relief.
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